confession

 “that’s disgusting!”

it was the most excitable i’d ever seen AP, and to a confession that i bite my nails nonetheless.

“what does your girlfriend think of this?”

i thought for a second before responding.

“i don’t think she knows, i usually do it when i’m driving by myself.”

upon further reflection, this statement is not completely true. we went to see “tár” earlier this week, and i can remember biting my nails on the way there. she must not have noticed. i’ll really just bite my nails whenever i’m driving, usually with people i know pretty well, and i’m always discreet about it. crack the window, flick em out, and act like nothing ever happened. 

out of shame, i feel the need to put a qualifier here. when i say i bite my nails, i’m not like those sick fucks who chew them all the way down so you can see the flesh poking out. i use more of a bite and tear method, chipping the corner of the white part slightly before pulling it off. same look as the clippers, just a bit more satisfying. 

i’m a glutton for a little bit of satisfaction, i think that’s why i never kicked the nail biting habit. it’s the same with the itchy spot on my leg that i’ve been scratching since 7th grade. if i showed AP that spot he’d probably call it disgusting too (and rightfully so). i don’t know if i’ll ever stop doing either of these things, though it’s ultimately up to me to make the decision. to swing the bat (like in flcl :O). but i’ve never been good at following through on things like that. i mean, why deprive my self of that little bit of satisfaction. that’s what life’s all about, no?